My mother once said to me
'it feels as if your father is punishing himself'
For what, she did not know.
There are so many things that he used to find joy in but now wouldn't even touch.
He has been retired for a while now and all he does is busywork and wallowing in self pity, it seems.
Maybe I am like my father after all.
That's all I never wanted, to end up like either of them, unable to feel happiness and drenched in passive aggressive tendencies.
Am I resorting to self punishment for having something I don't think i deserve, creating these issues in my head all by myself?
It's all so much, so intense, so good, so exciting, I can't help but feel depressed and suicidal.
